FORT SILL, OK — The 3rd Battalion, 13th Field Artillery Regiment’s organizational day was called off Saturday after event coordinators determined that the pool game Marco Polo is functionally unplayable among a group of people with artillery-induced hearing loss.
The game collapsed within four minutes of starting.
“Marco,” shouted Spc. Travis Hensley, 23, into a crowded pool of 47 Soldiers. Nobody responded. Several appeared to be enjoying the water. One was asleep on a pool noodle. A Staff Sergeant near the shallow end was nodding along to nothing.
Hensley shouted Marco eleven more times. A Specialist near the lane divider turned around, pointed at himself questioningly, and mouthed the word “what.” Hensley gave up and swam to the wall.
The game was officially suspended at 1347 hours. No winner was declared. It is unclear if any participant understood that a game had been attempted.
Battalion Recreation NCO Staff Sgt. Darnell Pruitt, who had personally selected Marco Polo as the anchor event of the afternoon, said he stood by the decision in concept.
“On paper it’s perfect,” Pruitt said, gesturing at nothing. “Everybody’s in the water. It’s hot. You don’t need equipment.” He paused. “I planned this in the motor pool. Next to the guns.”
Pruitt confirmed this was his second year running org day activities. Last year’s event featured a trivia contest that was also canceled, for related reasons.
The situation deteriorated further when Lt. Col. James Whitfield attempted to address the pool from the deck with a safety brief and was answered with complete silence from 47 Soldiers who were looking directly at him, waiting for him to continue, having heard none of the first three sentences.
“I asked if there were any questions,” Whitfield said. “They all just stared at me. One guy gave me a thumbs up. I still don’t know what that meant.”
Whitfield’s driver, Spc. Anthony Reyes, who has served with the battalion for fourteen months and communicates with the lieutenant colonel primarily through hand gestures and written notes, said the thumbs up meant everything was fine.
Sgt. First Class Opal Duchamp, the senior lifeguard on duty, reported that she had blown her whistle fourteen times over the course of the afternoon for various safety infractions and had achieved a zero percent response rate.
“I’m used to it,” Duchamp said. “I was also in artillery.”
She confirmed that two Soldiers had walked directly into the pool stairs because they did not hear her warning them about the pool stairs.
One of those Soldiers, Spc. Marcus Webb, said he appreciated the heads up.
Command Sgt. Maj. Rick Folse announced that org day would continue with activities less dependent on auditory function. The revised schedule included cornhole, a cook-off, a lip sync battle that was later also canceled, and what Folse described as “just standing near the grill and nodding.”
Asked if the unit would attempt Marco Polo again next year, Folse said he hadn’t decided.
He was then asked the same question again, louder.
“No,” he said.
At press time, someone had restarted the game in the deep end. Nobody could tell. Spc. Hensley was back in the water shouting Marco at four-second intervals. A Master Sergeant fifteen feet away was describing the best burger he’d ever eaten to a man who had not heard a single word of the story but was laughing anyway.
